I hate cable companies

Kinja'd!!! "ImmoralMinority" (araimondo)
10/05/2017 at 09:20 • Filed to: None

Kinja'd!!!2 Kinja'd!!! 13

I have a settlement conference in a really annoying case where my client is being sued for allegedly stealing a pay per view boxing broadcast and showing it at his business.

The problem is that my client operates a liquor store in a bad neighborhood. It has no cable, internet, or antenna. It has only a closed circuit security camera with a monitor behind the counter. The last thing my client wants is to have customers loitering in the store and watching a sporting event. When people hang out im a liquor store, they steal.

These lawyers only do this kind if case. They advertise that they will pay for people to sign affidavits stating that they saw an illegal pay per view broadcast at a private business, and then they litigate with scorched earth tactics to deter theft. I get that they want to protect their property, but I think their paid witness scammed them. He took pictures of my client’s business from the outside, and the only car in the lot was an employee.

They have no photo of a TV where the witness saw the broadcast. Just the statement they paid for, and outside photos.

I cannot believe I might have to do a trial in federal court on this.


DISCUSSION (13)


Kinja'd!!! Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > ImmoralMinority
10/05/2017 at 09:27

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Sounds like a good time to counter sue for pain and suffering.


Kinja'd!!! Arrivederci > ImmoralMinority
10/05/2017 at 09:53

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They advertise that they will pay for people to sign affidavits stating that they saw an illegal pay per view broadcast at a private business

This must be illegal.


Kinja'd!!! TorqueToYield > ImmoralMinority
10/05/2017 at 09:56

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“The problem is that my client operates a liquor store in a bad neighborhood. It has no cable, internet, or antenna. It has only a closed circuit security camera with a monitor behind the counter.”

Doesn’t anybody, I dunno, double check this stuff before wasting everybody’s time?
I get that some bars steal this stuff to avoid paying the proper fees. But a liquor store in a bad part of town, come on man... 


Kinja'd!!! haveacarortwoorthree2 > ImmoralMinority
10/05/2017 at 10:00

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How is this not Rule 11? Sure, they have an affidavit but an onsite inspection would have alerted them to the fact that the affidavit was false.


Kinja'd!!! DipodomysDeserti > ImmoralMinority
10/05/2017 at 10:13

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So the shady lawyers get the cable company to sign onto these lawsuits? Why would big corporations like cable companies be suing people using small time shady lawyers?

Cable companies can tell when your stealing from them. They don’t need witnesses. I know because a former roommate kept getting letters from our cable company saying they knew he was stealing movies.

It’s a criminal offense, so I’m not sure why they’d go the civil route.


Kinja'd!!! CalzoneGolem > TorqueToYield
10/05/2017 at 10:17

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They are counting on people not doing any of this.


Kinja'd!!! Azrek > ImmoralMinority
10/05/2017 at 10:30

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Recent conversation with me and a Cable company

Me: Hey, my Internet is out. I just had it turned on Sunday when I moved
Cable Company: Yes, it appears that when you moved in the previous resident canceled their cable which canceled yours.
Me: So turn it back on?
Cable: We can’t. We have to start a new account and get a technician out there to review your lines....
Me: ...Ok, while you are doing that paperwork I want to cancel all the cable for everyone on my block
Cable: er...what?
Me: If someone who isn’t me can cancel my internet then I want to cancel everyone’s internet around me as well.
Cable long pause: I’ll send you a tech right now.
Me: Fantastic, thanks. I will retract my order on canceling the block then.


Kinja'd!!! Stapleface > ImmoralMinority
10/05/2017 at 10:39

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What a waste of everyone’s time.

If you have to go to court, I say fuck it and counter-sue them for whatever you can get to stick about them making up false claims.


Kinja'd!!! functionoverfashion > ImmoralMinority
10/05/2017 at 10:41

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Imagine trying to explain all this to someone unfamiliar with our modern society. This kind of thing is the most preposterous derivation of civilization and its rules.

I mean no offense to you whatsoever, and I wish you the best of luck in this case. You even mentioned your disdain for the situation. But the fact that it even is something that has to be discussed is... kind of ludicrous, right?

And yeah, it has to be illegal to advertise that you’ll pay people to make a false affidavit, in addition to doing exactly that.


Kinja'd!!! Chariotoflove > ImmoralMinority
10/05/2017 at 10:44

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What am I missing? If the thief in question doesn’t have cable or internet at the site of the alleged theft, how could he have stolen a cable show? Are they saying he recorded it and brought it in on physical media? Because otherwise it seems a slam dunk for you.


Kinja'd!!! TheRevanchist > Azrek
10/05/2017 at 11:24

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Me two weeks ago watching my college football team play: *screen freezes with large error code showing* (same error code that shit on me when I was watching football the weekend before)

Get on phone.

Scream at automated voice.

CSR finally online. Yell at them for 5 minutes ( I have little sympathy for anyone who ruins my football watching and works for evil). Sends person out in the next hour.

Have people out the next 2 weekends to fix any and all problems instead of them just doing their normal “look into it” or “reboot” bullshit they say every time I call.

I can’t stand how much they want you to push them in order to get something done. Just fucking do something, and the customer doesn’t have to be pissed off at you for something the customer pays good money to have.


Kinja'd!!! Azrek > TheRevanchist
10/05/2017 at 11:38

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Oh, I learned a long time ago to not get mad at customer service. What I try and do is get them to understand my situation or put them in a compromising situation instead.

So if someone can close my account; then I want to close all accounts or everyone near me. It is their policy design that is flawed and they need to address this. If there a reoccuring theme here, they need to address it.


Kinja'd!!! TheRevanchist > Azrek
10/05/2017 at 11:59

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I used to be nice to customer service when they actually helped. But, Comcast (let’s call them out on their bullshit) hasn’t helped. Not until I was pissed. It shouldn’t have come to that. I’ve been complaining to them for years, but with mild, shitty help that doesn’t really help. Since they finally got someone to fix my shit, I haven’t had any service issues. That’s a week without any issues! Finally. After years of complaints, calling, emailing and other shit.

I’m trying to not be angry old man driving 50 in the fast lane, but they really grind my gears.